Real post coming later today… I just had a quick few questions for those of you willing to delurk briefly. I'm relatively new to this blogging thing and I'm wondering about the lack of comments on most of the posts (the hits on the blog are reasonable, but there's almost no comments on most posts). I'm totally fine with that being the way this blog is going to roll if it comes to that (I really enjoy writing here and the emails I get, although I'm behind in responding, seem to suggest that this is a good forum for answering people's sleep-related questions). But I did want to make sure that there isn't anything blocking people from commenting (with the LARGE caveat that I was a lurker at most of the blogs I read when I first stared reading them, for a variety of reasons). So, a couple of questions for those of you willing to share:
1. I've had two people email me about problems they've had posting comments. These seemed to be technical problems (they'd post, and then their comment would disappear when they'd refresh). I've tried to find the problem, but I can't figure it out. But I also don't know if it's just a bug in someone else's software or computer and not a Typepad problem. If you HAVE had this problem, and you still are experiencing it, I would REALLY appreciate a quick email (bedtiming@gmail.com) letting me know this is the case.
2. Is this just not the type of blog you would comment on because it's largely "information" being put out there rather than a personal blog per se (the latter may seem more like a conversation and this blog may seem more like a one-way distribution of research or something)?
3. Are there topics that you're interested in that I haven't covered and therefore you don't really have that much to say on the issues I've posted?
4. Are you just so damn sleep-deprived and brain dead that the thought of putting a few words together on a public forum fills you with horror?
5. Am I just overthinking this and I should just get on to the "real" posts already?
Any and all thoughts are very welcome (critical or otherwise. Really.)
I read all the posts in a rss reader and so it’s not so easy to comment. I really enjoy reading all of your posts and thinking about them, but I’m not always called upon to comment.
1. I’ve had comment problems on other blogs but not this one. I think it’s usually a conflict between someone’s security settings and the code in the site?
2. Somewhat.
3. Not really, I’ve enjoyed the info you’ve put up that relate to my daughter’s current age (almost 9 months) and the links to Radiolab and articles
4. No, but I read blogs in Bloglines (rss reader) and have to click a couple of extra times in order to visit an actual site and leave a comment, so I only do so when I’m really motivated!
5. I’ve noticed the lack of comments on here, too, since in my mind this blog is linked to Moxie and she gets tons of comments. BUT…new blogs often have a few months of lurkers who don’t comment. I’d suggest you don’t take it personally and wait and see what’s happening a couple of months from now. If you keep putting up good content, which you are…people will come!
It’s almost all #4 for me. That, and 9 month old daughter asleep on my lap most nights. The clicking of the keyboard ALWAYS wakes her up lately. It’s awesome content, though, and I am slowly working my way through the book (moving right now, everything is a little off). Keep writing! I will keep reading and trying to comment.
I am a lurker with an 8 month old who sleeps pretty well unless she’s teething. I’m just trying to glean info for what’s coming in the future.
I have not had any problems the times I’ve wanted to comment. The reason I don’t comment more often are a combination of the blog being more of an information source for me – since my first child is only 3 months old I don’t have a lot of feedback to give on most of the posts or quesions. The other part of it is that it’s physically difficult to comment since most of my browsing is done with a sleeping child on my lap.
I read via Google Reader, and have to click through to comment – unless it’s something REALLY compelling (or really annoying), I tend not to leave comments on blogs because I’m lazy!
I enjoy reading your posts and think they are VERY helpful, I just don’t usually comment on blogs.
Really enjoying the site and also bought your book, but haven’t had much to add yet.
Oh, and we just got back from a driving “vacation” and I think he’s working on his molars and work is insane for both me and hubby, and and and… )
Also… #4.
(My almost-12-month old has only in the last couple of weeks started going 6-8 hours at a stretch.. and that’s starting at around 7 or 8 pm — so I spend several of those hours still awake… and then he’s up around 2 and wants to nurse.. and then again at 5.. and 6… and… well, you know the story..
I love this site and try to comment. My big problem is that I feel like I am commenting too much! I don’t want to be the kind of user that’s always trying to get two words in. I’ve had no technical issues on commenting. I use an RSS reader (bloglines), too.
she still positions herself as the Not-Expert, so there’s more comments there. With this site, I prefer the expert tone. And I think over time, you will see conversations coming up in comments as we get more and more used to things.
I think this is more of a source of information, so in a way, you *are* the expert. While Moxie is all-knowing
I read in an RSS reader, so I have to be really motivated to say something. And I do think that because these are information dumps they’re less likely to generate comments than some other types of entries.
But, I have been reading, and I really appreciate the information. I have a little boy whose naptimes and bedtimes had been pretty good and then they just went haywire. I was fairly sure it was a combination of being 2.5 and a new sibling (now 4 weeks old). Your series of posts on that age helped me understand it better. I’ve shared those posts with friends who have kids the same age.
I should probably come and comment to say thank you when I find a post particularly useful. It’s only polite. I’ll start here: Thank you for this blog. It’s been interesting and useful.
You guys are AWESOME. THANK YOU for your feedback. The points about this being a new blog are totally legit and of course reading through an RSS reader/Google reader does make me less likely to comment often (although I probably end up reading more through the readers). I had a sense that the whole “I’m an expert” stance might be somewhat hampering readers to comment, unlike Moxie’s position. The weird thing is that I’m still struggling through all of this parenting/sleep stuff also, which is why I read Moxie religiously. I’d like to strike some happy balance where I *can* give you guys all the research data and developmental theory I know, but at the same time still foster a climate where you all feel comfortable calling b.s. on some of it or at least critically unpacking some of the research that just doesn’t ring true to you. Anyway, this gives me a bit of fuel to keep going and see what happens over the next few months.
I had to giggle a little about the child sleeping on lap/laptop situation. I remember those times all too well…
@fahmi: I, for one, LOVE getting your comments and have never felt your “two words” were anything but thought-provoking and relevant to all of us.
I agree with the above, I check your blog on a daily basis just to remind myself that I am not alone (and to get some excellent information), but do not comment. I usually pass on your info to other friends, to help them as well. Thank you, thank you for your log!!
I am still pregnant with my first, so maybe I’ll have more to contribute once I’m actually dealing with sleep issues! I think it’s really normal for a new blog to take lots of time to build up a rapport with readers, though. And even when people don’t comment, don’t assume they’re not reading and enjoying! I know I am. Keep up the great work.
I’m with Julie – my baby is only 5 1/2 months old and we haven’t tried any sleep training yet, so I don’t feel like I have much to say. In answer to a question from a couple blog posts ago, I’d be interested in reading about sleep training beyond just the first time they go down for the night. We don’t have trouble with that but we’re not sure what to do about night wakings.
I definitely am interested in what you have to say, so keep posting!
Just intimidated at how smart you are- I have nothing to offer!
I check your blog at least a couple of times a week, but like many of the above folks, since I don’t have much to offer, I keep my mouth shut. But I have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated your wisdom… and I hope the lck of comments doesn’t lead you to consider stopping!
Oh, and to answer your question from a few posts ago, information about night wakings/night weaning would be appreciated. We have a pretty solid bedtime routine (at 7 months) but after a long cross-country trip, we’re now back to 3-4 night wakings that require nursing back to sleep. Thanks!
I try to comment once in a while, either to answer a question or to ask. I do think the “expert” element makes it a bit harder to feel like we have anything to “add,” per se, but I still feel like you foster an environment of conversation, cooperation, and community, if only people would join in!
I’m commenting now because my almost-6-month old just surprisingly put himself to sleep on my bed and I’m still reeling from the shock. I wasn’t actually trying to sleep train or anything, but…hey, if he wants to figure it out on his own, who am I to stop him? (Now, if my 2.5-year-old would kindly put *himself* to sleep, the house would be blessedly quiet.
I am a lurker on blogs for the most part and like another reader commented I read it in RSS feed so do not comment because of that.
Also, i don’t know what I could add since you really do such an excellent job of explaining everything. But I DO REALLY REALLY enjoy reading the blog.
I read your blog almost daily and have posted one or two times. I mostly don’t post because my son is only 9 months old so many of the scenarios don’t apply yet due to age and we haven’t felt the need to implement a specific sleep training method yet so I can’t really comment on those either.
I DEFINITELY find your blog helpful and interesting though!
believe me I’m still here… I too read over google reader & frequently use my iphone so I can ready while nursing or sitting with the family. So sometimes, it’s just too much effort to reply. Plus, your posts have so much information! Sometimes I don’t feel I have anything more to say, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love reading them.
Also, love the book too! Even though our sleep problems have disappeared for the most part, I can see that I will come back to the book just for the low-down on developmental phases.
One thing I’d like to hear more about is how to know is how growth spurts effecting sleep & when to expect them. I know early on they come at regular intervals. Does that change with age?
We had one recently and it took me nearly the whole spurt (~5 days) to figure out the reason she was waking (after weeks of only waking once a night) and demanding nearly a full bottle of milk.
I’ve just looked at your blog for the first time today. I bought your book – which I love – after reading the review on AskMoxie. I started sleep training my 6 month old son last week and had some questions, so I decided to find your blog. I think that your book and all of your blog posts are fantastic. Generally, I’m more of a reader than a commenter – that’s why you probably won’t see many posts from me in the future. What I will do is recommend your book and this site to all of my mommy friends.
I read and comment a bit but agree that this is more a source of information (which I too pass along) and that there’s nothing really to ‘add’.
A thought. I find your general posts on ‘what’s happening now’ to be so useful. They can help us figure out strategies for sleep and so many other hiccups that are probably attributed to the developmental stage (ie. 3.5 year olds suddenly lying or not wanting to be left alone). What if, in time, you opened your focus to general questions about ‘what is going on with my kid’? You could post the developmental issues underlying the age to help explain things from the child’s perspective and commenters could then chime in with strategies inspired by that information or reflections on why certain things they tried at that age didn’t work.
x
I agree with many of the other comments. My daughter is only 10 months so I don’t have a ton of experience to share. And she’s a pretty good sleeper so I just enjoy reading you “what’s happening now” stuff. It is also interesting to know a little bit of what to expect. I try to think of relevant/thoughtful/helpful comments to add — but those don’t tend to happen very often!
Great blog, please keep doing what you’re doing because I REALLY appreciate it!
@Tina: Thanks so much for your great encouraging words. I’m SO glad you liked the book and find it useful.
@J: I hear you and, like the most recent post suggests, I’m obviously thinking a lot broader than just sleeping issues when I think about kids’ developmental stages. To tell you the absolute truth, the main reason I haven’t broadened the topic areas is that I don’t want to overlap too much with Moxie’s site. She was so kind to review the book and point her readers to this blog that I wouldn’t want to seem like I am doing what she already does so well.
@Erika: I appreciate every time you’ve commented and it’s GREAT to hear from someone who has a child who is a good sleeper. YOO HOO!
@Everyone: again, thanks so much for the words of encouragement. They really help keep my momentum up (NOT that you need to feel like you have to do this regularly).
This is a great blog and it will just take time to spread and get lots of comments. It is fairly new and I’m sure its just taking time to catch on.
I didn’t notice anything in the book about the blog, so may be in next print, you could mention: For more info see blog…etc. yadda yadda.
I am a big fan! My sanity is coming back.
I get your blog posts on google reader as well and have found them to be fascinating. I did comment previously but didn’t get any responses so went back into lurking mode while I debated whether to email you directly with my questions.
I have a 10-month-old daughter and we have just now started to sleep train. We did the “Sleep Lady Shuffle” which worked surprisingly well a couple of weeks ago until she got her first ear infection + fever + teething + weekend trip, which took us back to square one. I’m not sure if this is in your book or not but I would like more info on how to deal with sleep training hiccups like the ones we encountered. And specifically in terms of timing, if you KNOW you’ll be traveling or whatever during an upcoming window of opportunity for sleep training, do you wait until after that event occurs to sleep train and risk missing the window/slipping into another clingy stage? In other words, should you never attempt to sleep train during the bad times (like 8-11 months) or are there ways to adapt sleep training methods to your child’s developmental stage to make it more likely to be successful at that stage?
Another question I’d like to see addressed is any research you are aware of in terms of whether the amount of crying that may occur while sleep training is in any way damaging to the child’s health/well-being? For example, I noticed that my daughter was far moodier and clingier after our aborted sleep training attempts (not just the most recent but also at 6 months), whereas when I nurse her to sleep at every wake up (3-4 times per night) she seems to be much happier, confident, etc during the day. I would love to hear your thoughts on that, especially if there are any studies on the long-term outcomes of sleep training vs not sleep training.
Finally, I’ve always wondered how sleep training works when baby is still sleeping in the same room as the parents. Culturally, we feel much better having her crib in our bedroom, but as you can imagine, we’ve had to adapt sleep training methods accordingly, because most of the techniques seem to focus on baby being in her own room already or the goal is to get baby in her own room by a certain age.
I actually think it would be ok to broaden the focus of this blog to things besides sleep issues, but whether you focus just on sleep or expand to other things, I would continue to read both this blog and askmoxie until my kid is 18 and ready to leave home.
@Ashley: thanks for your kind words! Yeah, my greatest strength is clearly NOT patience. I’m working on it…
@Catherine C: WOW! Those are GREAT questions. Sorry to have missed your last comment in terms of responding. I read all the comments, but if it’s INSANELY busy at my work, I may forget to respond to questions in the comments. If you email me, I will for sure get to your questions (although, again, if I’ve hit a bad time at work it may take me more time than I’d like to respond).
To answer your first set of questions: If the travel period is coming in a week or 2, I would wait to sleep train until AFTER a big upheaval like that. But if that travel time is months away, I wouldn’t wait. My kids surprised the hell out of me by sleeping beautifully when we travelled overseas after they had be sleep-trained for a few months already. There’s no absolute yes or no answer to your question about basically what’s best: sleep train before a big travelling period or during a developmental transition period. Both kind of suck to do because both make the child less secure. But my bet would be to do it before travelling and see how it goes. Once they’ve acquired the skills to put themselves to sleep, they often generalize to other contexts as well. I would never say never in terms of sleep training during developmental transitions. Sometimes we just have no choice — but I’d avoid it as much as possible and, depending on the temperament of your child already, use gentler techniques if your child is more sensitive, ESPECIALLY during transitions.
I’m working on a post about the empirical studies out there on crying/sleep-training and long-term outcomes. I’d like to link as many studies as possible and some are just not openly available to the public unless you have access to PsychLit or PubMed (databases with the scientific studies accessible online).
The co-sleeping books out there would have helpful hints on how to change some sleep patterns in your situation, even if you don’t co-sleep per se. The situations are similar in that you are not leaving the child ALONE. It’s a choice many parents make, and for some families, it works and the baby sleeps through the night and parents get their sleep also. For other more sensitive babies, those who may be more attuned to and needy of, their parents’ presence, that presence may be a major obstacle to sleep-training at all. Pantley’s books have good suggestions, so do the Sears folks.
Delurking to say I’ve learned so much from this blog too…and thanks! I’m the mom of a 5 1/2 month old and have found so much helpful already but don’t have any advice to pass on…yet! We’ve been cosleeping and since an uptick in night wakings/nursing about 6 weeks ago that is leading to no one getting enough sleep, we’re trying to figure out how to get our gal to sleep in her crib in her nursery. I’m procrastinating by reading every single thing on sleep I can find…
Anyway, thanks again & keep up the good work!