Apparently, I missed some big "delurking day." I'm so out of the loop… CLEARLY. So, I'll try to hop on the bandwagon belatedly.
I'm feeling a little isolated right now and thought I'd throw out a few questions to you all to see if we can get a sense of who's reading this blog. (I know you're out there, you're just not commenting… which is fine, I was a lurker for a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time before I started commenting.) I'm dying to know a little about my readers, just out of general curiosity. But I'd also like to get a better sense of what types of posts might be most relevant to you and a little bit of info about you all would help a lot. So… tell me dear readers:
1. How many kids do you have?
2. How old are they?
3. What's frustrating you most these days in terms of you children or parenting in general?
I'll go first (although many of you already know the answer to the first 2):
1. I have two boys.
2. Both are 3 and 5/6 years old (4 in March). Fraternal twins.
3. Biggest frustration: I can't get enough time with my kids during the week. I work 40 hours/week and because the boys don't nap anymore, they're in bed by 7:30. Any later, and they're in melt-down mode. So I get a measly 3 hours/day with them, and at least one of those hours are spent nagging about eating, dressing, undressing and getting out the door. And the fact that I can't figure out any way to solve this except to wait until they're a bit older and need less sleep saddens me.
No pressure, but PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE come out of lurkdom for a moment and make me feel less nerdy in this big, strange blog world…
Hi Bella!
I have been lurking around long enough, with only a comment here or there, so I’m outing myself : )
I have two children, 3 year-old (yesterday!) and 7 month old. Frustrations with these two all revolve around sleep; I’m used to running on low sleep with my little guy, but his sister has started getting up at 5 and not going down at night unless someone is in her room. When her dad leaves early for work she then wakes little man and I up, knocking on our door. So we’ve tried all sorts of things to encourage more sleep, or quiet play from her in those early hours, but nothing is working. We’re contemplating a lock on the outside of her door (kidding, kind of : )
Anyhow, your site has always been a resource, so thank you!
I’m still here, just too busy to comment lately. We have a 2.5 year old daughter…she has newly discovered how to tantrum and scream so the latest couple of posts have been SUPER timely. I can’t imagine working a full time job right now, but, at the same time, I am terrified I will be unemployable if I wait too long to get back to work. And I’d like to work some. So work-home balance, also huge. (Freelancing is scary, but that’s the direction I’m heading right now.)
Keep it up. I know I read most everything you post. And I reach for Bedtiming about once every six months or so to see which phase we’re in or headed for.
Hi!
I lurk because I have such limited computer time that by the time I get around to write a comment on an interesting post everybody has already moved on to the next one. Or the next five…
However I have two boys, 4 1/2 years and 15 months old respectively. The biggest frustration I have with my little dude is that he just does not sleep by himself. Or not more than 10 minutes and most of the time not even close to that. (Why yes my love life is crap, thanks for asking!) With my older one the biggest frustration would be tantrums. I am sooo ready to be done with his tantrums, but they pop their ugly little head up every time he is a little bit too tired or hungry or sick or anxious or constipated (right now!). And they are so intense.
I really enjoy your posts. Every time, even if I don’t get around to comment. I am more prone to answer direct questions than just make a general comment, case in point.
I’ll delurk! I have one son. He’s 16 months old. It seems like he is perpetually frustrated these days, so the recent posts have been timely for us as well. We’re dealing mainly with communication. I know that he understands more than he can speak, but just barely. There are a lot of things that he also just doesn’t conceptually understand, and seems convinced that we thwart him just for our own amusement. When we stop him from running into the street, or diving headfirst off the couch, or running out the door without shoes, or …, we try to keep the explanation very very simple, but he still tantrums.
I have a boy and a girl aged exactly 5 and 3 respectively (both have had birthdays in the last two weeks).
What is causing frustration here?. The FIGHTING and lying. They are always bickering. It probably seems as though they are ALWAYS fighting because they are both exhasuted at the end of the day when they actually see each other(around 4)and so anyting sets them off. Of course, the best way to stop them from hitting each other is playing with them, which I do for much of what is left of the afternoon, but then I need time to do stuff ( you know, cook, check my blogs!) and that’s when they start to pick on each other and lie to cover up ( well the big one does anyway).
Oh, and sleep stuff of course, having a just turned 3 year old. Her sleep has definitely improved, but not as much as I had hoped. is it possible she is still in the throes of the 2.5 to 3 y.o transition even though she turned 3 2 weeks ago?.
I have one daughter – she’s 15 months old. The most frustrating thing is that her sleep habits have fallen apart the last couple of weeks. She’s waking up at 1am and 5am every night, after sleeping through the night for months. Ugh. And I know it’s b/c of separation anxiety/transitions at daycare, mixed with a stomach bug a couple of weeks ago, and (maybe?) early 18 month cognitive developments, but I still want it to end NOW. And letting her sleep in bed with us is a bad long-term strategy (for us), but at 1am, I can’t think well enough to force myself to let her fuss. I just mechanically bring her to bed. Oh, and I’m 9 weeks pregnant, so I’m just so tired, and I work 40 hours a week, and am not operating at my best at work either. Fun.
I have an almost three year old and a 3 month old. My biggest frustration at the moment is that I get frustrated over small things I should expect/accept. For instance, it takes the older one forever to get in the car and she insists on doing it herself. She wants to be held any time I put the baby down, which drives me nuts because I’d like some time with both hands free etc. However, overall, we’re in a good phase, and I am enjoying my baby immensely.
Hey! I’m still here!
I have two kids, a girl who is almost 3 years old (on March 11) and a boy who is 7 months old. My biggest frustration is sleep, always always sleep. Although it has been getting better recently (we did some sleep training with the boy). My daughter has never been able to self-soothe, so we have issues around that. Also, she’s a very spirited child, and it’s especially hard for me to keep up with her energy level and need for attention/interaction. So that’s frustrating. And I can see issues with sibling stuff coming with them both.
I have one son who’s 27 months. Thinking about getting preggers another time. Biggest frustration? well, last couple of months have been just peachy after MUCH frustration from ?-24 months, due to late talking. Just beginning to post-verbal tantrum though, so last couple of posts have been great as for strategies for dealing with it. We’ve gotten the sleep thing down to a doable thing, even if he wakes up in middle of night, it takes 3 seconds for him to go down again. I guess biggest frustration is eating issues and the fact that he still has separation anxiety…doesn’t play on the playground without mommy, doesn’t want to go to gym daycare…even though this has significantly gotten better.
I have one son, 20 mos., and he’s likely to be my one and only. Most frustrating thing right now… probably nighttime sleep. He’s been waking 5+ times a night and wailing for water or milk for 20 mins or so (neither of which stop the wailing). When he finally falls asleep (we cosleep), he does it draped across my face. Not the most comfortable sleeping position for me. Waiting until he’s past the 18-22month period before attempting any changes (and hoping it’ll just resolve itself by then, but we’ll see).
I must say, though, he’s also full of cuteness and joy. His language and physical development is such a beautiful thing to be a part of. It does balance out the frustration. Now, if we could just tip the scales toward more joy…
Hello — I have three kids. 7 yr old boy, 4 yr old girl and 17 month old boy. My biggest obstacle is figuring out what is developmentally normal and what is something that is under my control (food issues, too little sleep, etc.)
I have one boy who is 2.
My biggest frustration is sleep, of course. (He is clingy and needs physical contact to sleep well. That’s nice but doesn’t let me get much good sleep, is damaging my health, and leaves me too exhausted for consistent sleep-training.) After that our biggest frustrations are slow language development, fussy eating, and discipline/tantrums (did I mention he is 2, clingy, and doesn’t talk much? and my patience is short from no sleep? no wonder we have a few clashes!). But apart from all that he’s delightful
He starts part-time daycare today, so I’ll probably have some new issues soon.
I have one daughter who is 17 months.
My biggest frustration of the past 6 weeks or so is that she’s gotten MUCH more clingy. If I’m sitting at the computer, she wants to sit on my lap. If I’m doing dishes she wants to get the chair to climb up next to me. It’s flattering, but I need some space! She’s also starting to get frustrated due to what you’ve been talking about in the past few posts: language skills that haven’t caught up with the rest of the brain. She knows what she wants but I don’t and she can’t communicate it with me. For some reason she’s stopped saying “yes” and “no” so even the “Do you want [X]…” isn’t working. But I’m confident we’ll make it through. She already is adding to her spoken word vocabulary every day.
I have a son who is almost three (birthday in mid-March–lots of March birthdays!) and a daughter who is almost 8 months. Sleep was hard for the past couple months–my daughter’s sleep fell apart and I think I’ve finally got us on track to a good schedule. (She switched from 3 naps to 2, in part.)
From the outside my work-life balance probably looks pretty good, as I work part-time from home. My son goes to daycare full-time and the baby’s home with me. But it’s still challenging because I don’t feel like I see my son very much. The bulk of the baby care still falls to me, as she’s breastfed and doesn’t take bottles. I’m trying to advance the work I do for my major employer, and do enough work to meet our expenses, and it’s very hard to juggle work around naps. Especially if sleep is screwed up, see above.
Not sure whether I’ve commented here yet or not, but I read pretty much every post, and frequently pass them on the family and friends.
I have one daughter so far, aged not quite 20 months. Right now my main parenting frustration has been coping with the 18-21 month transition, so like other commenters, I have found recent posts to be quite timely! Just in the last day or so, though, I’m beginning to see her come out of it, and very much enjoying who she’s becoming now.
I actually just discovered this site. I have already found many useful suggestions and interesting reading-so thanks!
Here’s me: 3 kids, 5 yr old boy, 2 1/2 year old girl 3 in April and 5 month old girl.
The middle child is my challenge (really my frustration these days but challenge sounds kinder!) We keep telling ourselves that she is going to make for an awesome person when she grows a bit older and stops making us crazy on a daily basis. Strong will, knows what she likes and wants, doesn’t take no for answer etc. She’s a go go personality and I can’t be on the go as much as she wants.
One reoccurring issue is her latest obsession is wanting to watch a movie (that she mostly watches only 1/2 until she loses interest and moves on). She will start the day out at the crack of dawn requesting a movie and will often not stop asking until she wears me right down and I just do it. I have to say we have made some progress distracting or at least delaying the movie until later in the day when I need a break. But still! what is some advice for breaking her of her daily movie “fix”. Let me emphasize that merely saying no or distracting her with other activities only lasts for so long before she’s back asking again!
I have one child, a daughter, who is 4.5 months old. You may have been able to guess that my biggest frustration is sleep. She slept much better as a younger baby, sometimes only waking once a night, and I got spoiled. For the last 3 months she has only slept through the night twice (I’m doing all the night feedings) and for the past month has been waking every 2-3 hours to eat.
I’m telling myself that this is just a phase and that she is using the night to reconnect with me (I went back to work full time at the beginning of the year), but I’m planning to try some no-cry sleep solutions if things aren’t better in a couple of weeks.
Oh, and one reason I am really enjoying your blog is that I am a postdoc in cognitive neuroscience and I love refreshing my memory about child development now that I have a baby!
I have a son who is almost 5 months old. Right now we are working on sleep, but I know that it will get better so it really isn’t a horrible frustration.Your website/book helped to give me permission to stop working so hard at sleep training and just go with it, for now.
What is difficult is getting on the same page with my partner when it comes to parenting. I like to read everything and talk to other parents to help me with making decisions that go with my own parenting philosophy. My partner likes to “wing it”. This leads to many heated discussions and we haven’t even been doing this for a year!
I have 2 children, a daughter and a son, 4 and 2 respectivly. I work full time and they are in daycare in seperate age group rooms. They play well together when lightly supervised (I can cook dinner/field questions while they play in the dining room) in the evenings and on weekends (super lucky on that front). The issue that is driving me nuts at the moment is my daughter telling me “I’m scared” whenever she doesn’t want to do something. Any little thing-from getting dressed in the morning, eating anything other than junk food, playing on her own, basically anything that has been requested of her and isn’t her idea is met with resistance and the “I’m scared” comment. I don’t want to pressure her to do things that truly frighten her, but eating a grilled cheese sandwich when she asked for a pb&j isn’t a scary situation. If I think there is any reasonable reason to be scared I talk with her about it, but I am having a hard time drawing a line on what I am perceiving as attenting seeking behavior.
I recently discovered this site. I have a 4 month old. My biggest frustration is that my husband doesn’t seem to be bonding (yet?) with our daughter. I am staying at home and he sees her for a total of 2-3 hours a day (if that much). More, obviously, on weekends. But he is just not so interested in her yet and its frightening to me, not to mention hard knowing that right now I am the main source of love, cuddles, and entertainment for her.
You guys are making me very, very happy today… Thanks for your comments and honesty. Just hearing your “voices” is so wonderful! What a fabulous bunch of women you all are!
I’m a work at home Dad. My partner (she is a stay at home mom) and I have a 3 1/4 year old son and a little girl on the way (due any day) Our biggest challenge with our son currently is temper tantrums and frustration when things don’t go the way he has planned. He is definitely playing and experimenting with control and limits. He has advanced language skills and is definitley sensitive and a “thinker” but is delayed physically (he had a stroke at 18 months that caused him to limp) and although he has recovered remarkably and no longer limps, he still has difficulty doing some of the things he sees other kids doing (jumping, running fast) We are sure he sees the difference in his capabilities compared to others as he shys away at active play especially when other children are around. We are not sure when or how to talk to him about what happened to him? Also, we are trying to prepare him for a new sibling.
I have a 2 1/2 yr old (E) and a 14 week old (B). My biggest frustration behavior-wise is that E no longer naps and is going through his half-birthday disregulation phase. He obviously needs more from me as far as entertainment, stimulation, etc but I don’t know what and because of everything going on with his digestive issues, not to mention the new baby, I’ve been all-consumed and haven’t been able to catch up to his needs. He’s basically outgrown my parenting skills and so we’re caught in this cycle of “don’t do that” both on his part and on mine.
Hello! One toddler, and a second baby on the way. Our boy is 18 months and though he has over 50 baby signs, he only has a couple of real words. He absolutely hates being thwarted when he’s carrying out his own little projects or tasks, and he has quick tantrum-y outbursts all day long. I would love to be able to relieve his frustration a bit!
Delurking!
I have 2 boys.
Ages 3yr 4months and 20 months.
What’s frustrating me is me right now. I need a support system and I am trying to build one by trying to build some new friendships but I need a support system and I feel like I needed it yesterday and I’m just lonely and blah and so I know I am not being the greatest parent right now either.
I have one son, who just turned 19 months old. We’re in the middle of attempting a wee bit of night-weaning. We co-sleep, and I know it’s not the ideal window in which to introduce a change, but I just had a sense it might work for him right now. His receptive language skills are very good and I just decided to try talking to him about it at dinner and explaining what the change would be. It’s been 2 nights, and so far he’s woken up, wanted to pee (as in, fussed until Dad opens up his diaper and then pees), had some water, and then gotten back to sleep without nursing with just a bit of fussing. 2 nights is hardly enough to think we’ve been successful, but it’s something!
Most frustrating thing right now is waiting for his expressive language/talking to start taking off. He does ok, but still does a lot of grunting and pointing and we haven’t seen the big language explosion yet. On other hand, he’s known all of his letters/numbers since 15 months. Another frustration is the constant wondering if he’s being irrevocably harmed or his spirit is being wounded somehow by being in daycare. Sigh.
I’m de-lurking. I read your blog through a feed reader so the comment section doesn’t pop up automajically so I never comment. I read Moxie and followed you over here.
I have a 2 year 4 month old daughter who is an only child. Everyone will hate me, but we’ve never had sleep waking issues with her. I can count on one hand the number of times she’s woken during the night since she weaned at 12 months. My problem has always been getting her to sleep. It’s like she has to re-live her whole day as a way to de-stress or relax or whatever. She self soothes easily once she’s mentally prepared but getting her to that point an be tedious.
I have the best of both worlds. I work out of the home part time (Tuesdays and Thursdays) and then I’m a sahm the rest of the week. Those 2 days give me a little break and adult time, while I still get to be with my little girl the other 5 days.
My biggest frustration right now is her “I want that” so I give it to her and then I hear “I don’t want that…I want that (pointing to something else)”. Ugh. I’ve decided I’ll let her change her mind once and after that she either doesn’t get anything or she gets what she asked for last. Also, she doesn’t seem to want to play with anything except mom. She seems unable to amuse herself but relies on me to come up with activities and to initiate play (with play-doh, toys, books, whatever).
Thank you for taking the time to write the blog. I gain a lot of understanding about her little mind works and it helps to deal with any frustration I have. BUT I’m sooooo not looking forward to that 2.5 year old jealousy issue!
OK, I’m not a lurker here, but I’ll answer anyway. (:
I have two daughters- one who is 2.5 (really 2.75- she’ll be 3 in early April) and one who is 3.5 months.
My biggest frustration lately has been my older daughter’s tantrums and our inability to figure out how to handle them in a way that both parents are happy with. Things are tougher lately because the baby has been getting over a cold, and for some reason, her congestion is draining down her throat and not out her nose, so she’s been throwing up/coughing up mucus on us lately, particularly in the middle of the night. So we’re sleep deprived and dealing with A LOT of extra laundry. Not the best situation for handling a stubborn toddler!
I have a two month old son. My biggest frustration is my husband who won’t take direction regarding naps and sleeping. But we’ll get there.
We have a two-year-old boy and right now I’m actually really enjoying the developmental stage he’s in – surprise, surprise. However, since he’s our only, I’m really curious to know what to expect over the next few months/years. I also find the scientific developmental studies fascinating, especially since so much parenting advice tends to revolve around shrill ultimatums. I don’t tend to comment often, but I read the blog regularly and find it really interesting. I am curious about how to handle toilet training – the next big adventure . . .
Hello there, I haven’t been lurking but thought I’d say hi to everyone anyway.
I have one child – he is 3yrs and 3 months old.
We still struggle with sleep (he never wants to) and with tantrums. (And I do go on a bit about those, so I’ll spare you in this comment!)
I’m also really interested in finding ways to help him be emotionally resilient. We have depression in the family and I’m very concerned about how this will affect him. I want to give him the tools to cope.
Thank you for your fantastic blog.
I have two girls, ages 2 years and 7 months. My biggest frustration is dealing with my 2 year old’s sleeping issues. She cannot go to sleep or stay asleep by herself. We’ve resigned ourselves to co-sleeping, and that gets us through the night, but it is the beginning of the night that is killing me. An hour (sometimes longer) sitting in a dark room thinking of all the other things I’d rather be doing with my evening than waiting for my toddler to fall asleep… painful and depressing.
I have two kids – my son will be 3 in May and my daughter is 5.5 months. The little one could be sleeping better, so right now, that feels like the big deal.
My own lack of patience is often my main issue but lately hasn’t been. My son seems to be going through an easy phase compared to a few months ago, so I’m enjoying feeling like I’ve got it together even though it’s more about him than me.
One daughter, almost 2.5, and one son, almost 9 months. Our biggest SUCCESS is managing to move 2400 miles, live with family for 1.5 months, and now we are finally in our own home again! Yah! If you had asked me last week I would say my biggest issue was my 8.5 mo old sleeping (never sleep trained because he slept peachily until the move, and then descended straight into hell- up every 45 min all night, etc.). But then in the last week he started scooting and babbling, and we moved into aforementioned home… So we shall see how things go with that. My biggest current frustration is my 2.5 yr old’s clinginess and tantrums and general irritability. I just want to magically find patience, from where I don’t know…
I don’t comment as much as I would like because I read on a blog reader, mostly from my iPod… So commenting requires lots of extra effort!
I have one son who is 23 months. The biggest source of frustration is that even though he has GREAT language skills for his age, we often forget that he’s not even two yet. I so wish I could reason with him. Yeah – I realize I’ll have to wait for that. The other big frustration is eating. He still eats limited foods and doesn’t want to try new stuff. I know what I need to do to move him along, but I’d feel so guilty if I just gave him food, take it or leave it. So I end up giving him baby food because he will eat it and find other real kid friendly stuff to offer him.
HI there,
I love your blog! I have one child, a boy, who is 2 years & 2 months. The biggest frustrations I have are:
1. not enough time with my son. Like you, I work outside the house and have brief morning and evening time, weekends too.
2. my sippy cup dilemma. my son love, love, loves soft-top sippy cups and won’t drink out of anything else. I feel duty-bound to make him move on, to open cups, hard-top sippy cups, anything that is not a bottle in disguise. But it’s one of those things I’m also not sure about. Is it worth a battle?
lurking-out … read your blog almost everyday but almost never comment!
3 year old son and almost 6 month old daughter
Re: 3 year old – trying, trying, trying to remember I am the adult. As my husband says, sometimes my son and I are like oil and water – he knows the EXACT buttons to push! Just being the NORMAL three year old he is!!
Re: almost 6 month old – sleep, sleep and no sleep! but we are getting there! Husband and I read your book and are anxiously awaiting for her six months so we can get this sleep training going!
Hello. I am Katherine, I live in South Africa. I am a mom to 2 and I work as a creative director 36 hour week, partly from home. I have 2 boys, Ronan 3 and Darcy 1. We have a live in nanny and Ronan goes to school in the mornings.
My biggest worry is that I don’t teach my kids enough and that I don’t play with them enough. There is so much caregiving to do and a lot of work goes into running a home. I try to give each child 30 minutes of dedicated attention (aside from all the routine based stuff like reading books, having dinner together, bathing them etc.) but I don’t always manage. And then I think how can I not find 30 minutes!?! This modern lifestyle is just crazy.
Darcy is in that 18-20 month phase that you described (what a relief it was to read that post!) and I am busy sleep training him because my exhasution was affecting the whole family. Also he can walk but REFUSES to walk unless someone holds his hand. I don’t know what to do.
Ronan sometimes wets his bed so I introduced a star chart which seems to have made it worse! He has just gone back to school after a 6 week holiday and has been separated from his best friend so I will give him some time to settle down before I panic.
Hi Bella (and Tracy!)
1/2. Two boys, exactly three years and a day apart. The older one (kid) turned four and the younger one (kidlet) turned one the past weekend. Whew!
3. I keep losing my patience with the kid – I have to focus on kidlet, and kid DAWDLES so much, or asks so many questions, that I keep getting cranky. It’s gotten to the point where the kid frequently asks, “Why do you have an angry face?” and I feel bad. It’s not his fault the world has so many questions. But why can’t he find time other than when we are trying to get out the door to ask them?
I am also getting tired of having to defend my parenting choices against other people – and not parents. Parents of parents. My extended family is fairly close-knit, and several of my cousins are also new parents. Their parents (my aunts/uncles) regularly take issue with my parenting choices and make a huge deal whenever I see them about what I am doing is wrong. If they don’t agree with what I do, they can make sure their kid doesn’t do so with their grandchild, but leave me alone, you know? And kid, perceptive as he is, has begun asking about some of the criticisms he overhears. Sigh.
And what happened to time? I suddenly have no time to spend with either child. I want to have snuggly, quality time with the kids where we are doing projects and reading books, just like we did, even three months ago. Suddenly, it’s like with both kids having a birthday, suddenly we are scrambling to just get normal stuff done, and nice happy times fall by the wayside. Even when they are asleep, I don’t have time to read this site anymore
hi Isabel,
Am i the only boy lurking? Well you know its been since just before Christmas. I have a 3 yr old boy that i have joint custody of.
I have a 5.5 year old son and twin boys who just turned 2. They are all great sleepers. Biggest frustrations: one of the twins biting his twin brother (which I don’t think he’d ever do at daycare), the twins fighting over toys, and the 5 year old getting mad at my husband and me for not meeting his every desire quickly enough. For instance, saying “Mommy, you just WANT me to be late for the playdate” when I am shlepping him and his brothers to the said playdate as quickly as I can. Or as we leave some kid destination saying “Oh, let’s go through the drive through at McDonalds now.” I love the can-do, make it happen attitude, but also want some appreciation for the fact that we have needs too.
Hi I am from Philadelphia and I have a almost 4-yr old son and a 9-month old daughter. I agree with your sentiment that one of my main frustrations is balancing work and home life and never feeling like I have enough quality time with the kids. We are much worse than you though because we will let the kids stay up later so that we have some time with them.
I’ve got over 200 unread posts in my google reader, so you aren’t the only blog I’m not commenting on right now.
I’ve got two kids. My daughter is almost 3 and my son is almost 9 months.
The biggest issue with my daughter is the stalling. Stalling when we’re trying to get dressed to leave, stalling when we’re cleaning up toys, stalling at bedtime. Sometimes it is not listening and sometimes it is clearly just stalling. I think it is especially frustrating because she is an awesome communicator (pedi said at her 2 1/2 year appointment that she sounded like a 3 1/2 year old) and when she wants to, she can do practically everything by herself – getting dressed, getting in bed, looking at books, using the potty, etc. And having to say “put on your coat” 20 times is ridiculous.
The 9 month old is a fabulously laid back boy who only gets fussy if he’s hungry, tired or sick. Compared with our daughter the drama queen, it is just astonishing. He sleep sucks and he’ll rarely sleep in his crib or on our bed alone for longer than 30-45 minutes. So we’re in the “suck it up and wait for his sleep to get better”, and “how do we cope in the meantime” phase.
One boy, 2 years 4 months old. Most likely my only one. My husband and I work full time so he is in day care five days a week.
Biggest frustration is feeling like I’m a big fraud and have no idea what I’m doing. No good reason for this. He’s happy, sleeps well, eats well (usually), is very verbal.
Still sleeps in a crib and is not potty trained. Those are my goals for 2010.
I also just recently discovered your blog. I have a 3 1/4 year old girl. She has a very strong “go-go” personality that is going to make for a fabulous adult. but as her parent, she is a challenge. My main issues with her are mostly around discipline and how to get her to do the things I ask, when I ask.
I have identical twin girls who turned 4 in October.
My biggest frustration right now is their extreme sensitivity/anxiety. One of them is chronically anxious about new experiences, ie, she’ll cry/have nightmares before a special program at school because she is afraid she won’t like it, etc. The other is fine with new things but has a complete meltdown whenever something ends, ie going home after a birthday party, saying goodbye to friends at the end of a playdate, etc.
1. How many kids do you have?
2. How old are they?
3. What’s frustrating you most these days in terms of you children or parenting in general?
Delurking! (You do have a great site…)
I have one daughter, 18 months. She’s super-verbal which is great as it certainly does help head off some meltdowns. Note the word “some” there…she has had some epic meltdowns lately.
I’d say my biggest issue now is that her clinginess has reached the point that it’s making me just a little bit crazy. It’s like that Family Guy bit with Stewie trying to get Lois’ attention:
“Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois, mom, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mum, mum, mum, mum, mama, mama, mama, ma, ma, ma”
“What?!?”
“Hi!”
I have 1 daughter, 21 months old.
Right now, my big frustration is sleep. Sometimes she sleeps fine, but some nights (like last night) she wakes up multiple times, and is difficult to get back to sleep. Sometimes bedtime is also a struggle. I’m hoping this will get better after this developmental stage passes, but it is difficult to keep in mind that it WILL pass when it’s 3am and there’s no end in sight.
I have a son, almost 15 months old. He’s sleeping pretty well right now, but it goes in phases, as I know from your book (boy am I happy that 8-10 mo. is over, and I’m really not looking forward to 18 mo.!). He’s just beginning to get a little frustrated about communication and about getting his way these days, so the tantrum/discipline posts have been illuminating.
@Christina – OMG, EXACTLY! I’ve been seeing that commercial for Family Guy showing that scene recently. It’s what we are going through with my almost-3 yo daughter. Except she doesn’t always even give me the “hi” part.
I’ve also been reading since you started the blog (moxie lurker too) and love this site. I have 1 child-a boy who will be 3 on valentine’s day. He is likely my one & only. My biggest Issue has always been sleep. Also, as a sahm
I’ve found it very difficult to balance child-care duties(?)with my husband and sometimes feel like a 50′s housewife.
I have an almost 6 year old boy, 22 month old girl and 7 week old boy. Mostly I’m just exhausted trying to meet everyone’s needs.
I will try to stop saying how fabulous and THRILLING it is to see you all here… But I also had to LAUGH MY ASS OFF at the Family Guy reference. Because you know what’s SCARY?! One of my boys STILL does that. Exactly. Or he’ll start stammering and making stuff up when I finally look at him with that not-so-patient stare that says, “WHAT?! What do you WANT?”
I’ve been meaning to comment for 2 days. I have 2 boys, the oldest is 4 and the youngest is almost 1. I struggle with the usual stuff (eating, sleeping, getting off the bottle, the paci, etc.), some days are better than others. One of the things that worries me the most lately is how our divorce (separated in September 2009) is impacting my oldest. How much of his acting out is simply that he’s 4 years old, and what is because he’s anxious about the divorce. He’s been adjusting pretty well I’d say, his school says he’s doing great while he’s there, and most of the time he’s fine at home too but….I just don’t know what to look for, red flags and stuff. Every kid is different, and he’s always been “finely tuned”. The days after he’s slept over at his dad’s house are tough. Not acting out tough, but just transition-tough.
I love your blog, and am glad I found it. I love the stuff you have on discipline. More of that would be great!
I’m here. I have been a follower since the day my daughter was born.
I have one daughter.
She is 8 3/4 months old.
Right now our biggest thing is sleep!! We have done sleep training along with sleep regressions and hard to go back! She has been hard to break the “every 3 hour” waking habit…urgh! Your writings about child milestones have helped my husband and I TREMENDOUSLY! It has helped me understand what my daughter could be going through.
I have 3 kids, 5.5years, 3.25 years, and 12months. I lurk mainly because they sleep really well! (don’t hate me) so I use the sleep stuff to pass on to other moms I know. But I LOVE the developmental stuff here.
My biggest frustration is with my 3yo DD – she is learning how to argue (ie repeat her request ad infinitum even though we calmly say No + reason) and it does drive me nuts on the bad days. However this site has given me a huge appreciation of the leap she is going through, and I can now see the new abilities she has gained over the past month.
I wish this site had been around when my eldest was a toddler, however; it would have been great to have some perspective on his language delay/developmental progress/hyperactivity etc.
Hi – I tried to comment here earlier but see my comment didn’t make it up. I’m a mom to 15-month-old Felix and found this site while we were having sleep issues.I’m loving it now when the tantrums are starting and I’ve been so enjoying your thoughtful, intelligent posts about children’s developmental stages, and ways to deal with them. I have been singing your praises on my blog so perhaps if you see a small blip in South African readers on your Analytics that explains it.
Thank you!
hi! i have an almost 17 month old daughter.
like so many others, sleeeeeep is our biggest issue and always has been. we had about 3 wonderful months (i think she was around 5months – 8months) of sleeping through the night, but then that all fell apart. not sure why. she also needs lots of help falling asleep – lots of rocking, bouncing, humming. it’s exhausting. teething, perhaps?
and the tantrums are slowly starting, so these last few posts have been helpful!
love the blog!
I lurk mostly because I lack time. I have one son who’s 19 months old and I’m an “older” mother (44). My biggest frustration right now is getting him to understand that no means no. He’s climbing in things, pushing buttons and dropping his food on the ground. He’ll learn eventually. My 2nd biggest frustration is that his daddy thinks babysitting means turning on the TV
I have one boy who is 3 years and 4 months.
Right now, I’m wondering why my son is so fascinated by violence (shooting, hitting, bad guys) and can be so obsessed by a topic (he could ask the same questions about Star Wars all day, but his parents’ heads would explode – and Dad is pretty obsessed with Star Wars himself). Also, I wonder why he is showing no interest in potty training, but that is mostly for my convenience.
1. one daughter
2. 16 months
3. things are actually much better right now. She’s in an independent phase and not so clingy…she’s finally finishing cutting all of her teeth! So right now the biggest challenge is meal times, trying to get her to eat a variety of healthy foods instead of living on fruit and milk.
Hi, I just discovered your blog, it’s great! I have twin fraternal boys who will be 3 in March. My biggest frustration right now is whining and the anger that I experience at the whining and then my anger at myself when I don’t handle the whining well.
I also have an on-going sleep mystery that I’m beyond being frustrated by but will share anyway. Weekdays they are with a nanny. We come home for lunch, then I read them stories and tuck them in for nap and go back to work. They sleep 2-3 hours. Weekends, getting them down for nap is so awful, and was driving me to such extremes of frustration, that I now make my husband do it. It takes ages for them to calm down and then they sleep for typically 1 hour, at best 1.5. It’s been like this for about 1 year (prior to that naps were just really bad all the time). We’ve tried all sorts of combinations and it’s definitely something about thinking the nanny is here, not the fact that it’s a weekend, or we’re noisy, or not tiring them out. It’s really odd!!
I have an 8-month old boy who’s just now started (inconsistently) sleeping through the night, so I’m a very, very happy mom!
My biggest issue right now is not so much a psychological thing as a physical one… I’m madly trying to babyproof the house as he’s just started crawling about a month ago. My biggest problem here is the power cord for my laptop. I’m constantly unplugging it and replacing it with one of those little plastic thingies (when he starts playing with the cord), but then my laptop dies because I’ve forgotten to plug it back in during naptime.
I have a 14 month old son. Most frustrating these days is lack of sleep and difficulty sleep training, resistance to getting into stroller / car seat, no words yet (worried about language development), needing to be held by mama all day (I love holding him, it’s just hard when I’m trying to cook dinner too!).
I have two boys, ages 3+ and 8 mos.
What’s frustrating me right now is getting the baby to sleep longer at night.
Hello,
1. How many kids do you have? I’ve got 1 lovely gal.
2. How old are they? She just turned 8 months old.
3. What’s frustrating you most these days in terms of you children or parenting in general? Actually you caught me on a good week so I’ve got no frustrations but I am always worried about the next big step. Like how do we graduate from soupy mushy food to Cheerios without choking the poor gal? Ah well, I’m sure we’ll figure it out.
Delurking!
1. and 2. I have one 3yo boy and one 6mo daughter.
3. The night-time sleep of my daughter–ever since she started daycare 3 months ago, she’s been wanting to nurse 3-5 times nightly! I feel somewhat reluctant to night wean since she’s very distractible these days–she wants to see and be a part of everything that’s going on, but I feel as if I’m physically falling apart with exhaustion sometimes.
I love this site and I love the Bed Timing book. (The book probably has at least a clue as to what the solution is for my problem, if I could find a few minutes in between 6pm-10pm and my household duties to reread…)
I have one daughter, 17 months old. I haven’t been able to read or comment lately because life has been super busy as I am finishing up med school, and trying to figure out where we’re going to be for residency via “the match” is super stressful.
Parenting-wise, sleep is still the biggest issue for us. I was traveling for 2 weeks in early December during which time my husband managed to get my multiple night-waking child to sleep from 8pm to 8am within 2 nights. But now that we’re all back home and settled into our normal routine, and maybe b/c she is approaching 18 months, it takes sometimes an hour to get her to fall asleep and the last two nights she has started her frequent nightwakings again and asking for mama only. To a certain extent, not sure if this could also be food allergy related, since she goes to daycare and we can’t completely control everything she eats at daycare b/c sometimes she’ll accidentally get something with egg in it, which causes reflux for the next 24 hours.
Aside from sleep issues, she is otherwise very social, not too whiny, eats well, communicates well with both words and baby sign language, so I guess I shouldn’t complain too much.
Another topic I’d like to see (maybe this was already addressed in a previous post, haven’t had a chance to look yet) is teaching a second language to a child when the parent is not 100% fluent in it (i.e., I am ok with my Korean (know a lot of vocab but not too good with grammar) but am worried that I will be teaching her the “wrong” grammar so just sticking to words and really short phrases for now.)
I have 2 boys aged 4 years old in 2 months and 9 month old in a few days.
What’s frustrating me the most right now is 4 year old constantly saying “no” and my 9 month old not sleeping well through the night and not having a consistent day i.e no 2 days are alike when it comes to waking up, napping, etc., so planning things are virtually impossible.
still here, just behind on everything…
I have a daughter, 20 months
Nothing with my daughter is frustrating me right now… just all the other crap in my life. Wish I could spend more time with her!
Hello! I’m very new to the site (a good friend suggested you) and really like what I see so far!
My name is Melissa. I have one daughter, six months old.
My biggest frustrations right now are naps – specifically napping in the crib. My LO will not go down drowsy but awake. Ever. That’s okay with us. She’ll get there eventually. Sometimes she can take a while to go down at night, but we have a pretty good routine set up and she’ll stay sleeping the entire night (occasionaly will wake once needing the paci or a two min cuddle, then back down without problem). As for day time – she much prefers to nap in our arms. So we’re working on putting her down in her crib asleep. Sometimes it works better than others. We’re still chugging along!
Hello, recently found your blog. I have a 17 month old son. These days we are in a really nice place. My latest frustration is a rather lame one… I want one more hour of sleep in the morning!
I know that someday things will be more challenging, so right now I am enjoying this peaceful time and trying to learn from the wisdom of others.