Sorry everyone. I was in Philadelphia, at this conference on research on adolescence (I'm of the mind that one can start obsessing about your pre-pre-pre teen's adolescence during the preschool years, aren't YOU?!). I had to just call uncle last week and this one also — I can't keep up with my "day job" requirements right now and write at the level with which I feel comfortable in this blog. So, instead of just filling this space with thoughtless musings from my 4 am ruminations, I thought I'd take this week to re-post some stuff I wrote around a year ago (I see that my archives have dropped my April and May entries… grrrr…). And I'll actually improve on some of the post, if I can, with better links or clearer writing (there was a learning curve for me with this blog, obviously, so in some cases I kinda cringe at what I've written and I'm happy to take this opportunity to make it better). Most of you (well, let's face it, NO ONE) were not reading at that time and may have missed some information that might now be relevant to you. I'll start with the earliest ages and pick one or two entries from each stage. Please feel free to comment and share your experiences. We had very few comments when I first started, so this is another chance for those of you who need it, to brainstorm through some of the toughest ages and stages. The posts will be most relevant to sleep training, but as you get by now, I think these sensitive windows of development are pertinent to so many other developmental issues. So, without further ado, let's begin at the beginning…

     The period of birth to 3 months is often considered the time when
babies learn to regulate their basic bodily reactions, their states,
and their physiology. These little beings have spent a long time in the
womb, developing all the bodily mechanisms necessary to live on this
planet, to eat, to breathe, to expend energy in motion, to coordinate
muscles and senses so that motion accomplishes something, and to sleep
when replenishment is needed. They have also developed the mechanisms
for acquiring knowledge and skill—mechanisms that will allow them to
pay attention to what is most important, especially the faces, voices,
and actions of other humans.
    Most important, this is an age when
the baby’s states—alert attention, quiet wakefulness, and sleep—become
practiced and differentiated from each other, creating a predictable
cycle of daily rhythms. And these rhythms gradually become synchronized
with the day-and-night cycle of our planet, so that, starting around 6
weeks, babies sleep more at night and less in the day. And, as they
develop, these rhythms will also become synchronized with your rhythms
and the household routines that underlie them. During the end of this
stage, you will also notice a rapid increase in face-to-face gazing,
more smiling and other expressions of pleasure, and a general decrease
in fussiness at the end of this stage. Babies learn, by about 2 to 3
months, that they are part of a complex but exciting world of cycles
both inside and outside their bodies.
    From my perspective, sleep
training prior to 3 months is not a good idea. There is too much going
on. The synchronization of brain and bodily systems, the establishment
of cycles for eating and sleeping, the coordination of these cycles
with the outside world, all need time to develop and stabilize. The
sheer number of biological and psychological systems getting wired up,
and the rapid rate at which they are becoming connected with each
other, staggers the imagination.  A lot of biological events, including
cascades of changes in neural pathways and organ systems, unfold with
uncanny precision, almost as if there were a master schedule posted
somewhere and your baby is diligently following it. Scientists still do
not know exactly how this cascade of changes progresses so effectively.
But what we do know, as child psychologists, is that it’s better not to
mess with it! To attempt sleep training before your baby does the
majority of her sleeping at night would be to miss a massive biological
leg-up. Why not let natural biological processes do their work, before
you begin adjusting the fine points?
    Sleep training during
this early period may simply be ineffective. It may be difficult or
impossible to establish desirable sleep habits before sleeping at night
becomes routine. But it could also confuse your baby’s evolving
capacity to synchronize her interest, excitement levels, perception,
and communication. Imagine that your baby is just learning to smile at
you and to expect a smile in return. This reciprocal smiling sets off
an episode of communication that is designed to increase arousal,
because arousal is part of pleasure. And now imagine that this smiling
takes place just as you are turning out the lights and leaving the
room, a necessary step in most sleep-training methods. Now your
aroused, excited baby, instead of receiving the ongoing communication
she expects, is faced with the prospect of lying still and going to
sleep. This might simply not work. Fine. But it’s quite possible that,
after a few such scenarios, your baby will become confused as to what
to expect when mutual smiling or gazing take place. Maybe the smiling
means “game over”. Maybe I should disengage rather than engage when Mom
and I make eye contact. This sort of social confusion could result from
mixed signals, as the baby sees it. So, my take is better to wait until
the interpersonal routines of smiling and gazing become solid habits.
As they solidify, security and trust will solidify as well, making the
ordeal of sleep training less of a challenge to your baby’s sense of
himself, his sense of you, and his sense of your relationship.

So,
if you're in the throes of this stage with your baby, you  might be
saying:  But I'm DYING over here!  What can I do to maximize EVERYONE'S
sleep?
   

Our answer (seriously, click the link… I found it SO cathartic when I was in this stage with my boys):

"Whatever gets you through the night,
is alright… Do it wrong or do it right, it’s alright.” Use a swing, a
bouncy chair, tuck your baby in the crook of your neck, lay him across
your chest, rock him in a chair, a glider or a hammock, bounce him in a
sling or a baby carrier, throw him in a car seat on top of the dryer
(my husband insists on my warning you to be careful that the seat can
fall off the edge), in the back seat of a car, or in the stroller. Have
you tried the quarter-time bounce (oh man… I need to videotape this
"bounce" and share it with you all… It seriously worked with EVERY
infant I've laid my hands on)? Anything you do, you can undo with
proper sleep training at a later stage of development.  This is not the
time to stress out about “creating bad habits.” What you’re creating is
a tight bond with a rapidly developing little organism that needs your
warmth, flexibility and consistency. During this early newborn stage,
whatever gets you (and your baby) through the night is just fine.

Anyone out there just making it through the night? Anyone want to share their darkest night during this stage?