After reading one of the reviews at Amazon.ca, I feel compelled to explain something that might not be clear from reading this blog (at least not right away). NONE of the information I'm providing or putting out there to discuss is meant to make any parent feel less competent. My intention is exactly the opposite — it's to empower parents with some basic research and theory from developmental psychology so that they can make the best sleep choices for their family.
The issue of course is that some of those choices have already been made. So if you're reading this site and thinking "Oh shit, I sleep-trained my child at 9-months! Have I done something terrible?" Um, no. It just may have been a hard process — harder than it might have been at 6 or 12 months.
But NO WHERE in our book or on this blog will you find ANY research that suggests any long-term harm because children were sleep-trained, night-weaned, etc. during these sensitive developmental stages.
So, to be clear: The premise of our approach is that sleep-training can be EASIER on the child and parent if it's done at particular ages and stages and not others. But if you want or need to sleep train during the more sensitive stages, it's good to know WHY it might be difficult and prepare yourself for what might arise during these periods. For example, in Canada, many women go back to work when their baby is exactly 9 months. Many NEED to do so. So, if you have to sleep train during this period, then knowing how difficult separation anxiety can be and that it might take longer for new sleep patterns to stabilize might help you to plan the type of sleep-training method you use and to anticipate how long the process might take.
I'm particularly sensitive to triggering other mothers' guilt because I am THE. MOST. GUILT-PRONE. PERSON. EVER. Really. Most things I do in my everyday life are motivated by guilt to some degree or another (to name just a few examples: returning emails, feeding my kids veggies, exercising, cooking from scratch, turning OFF the t.v., reading research in my field: all of it, motivated by guilt rather than the pure joy or goodness of doing it).
So, yeah, guilting other mothers out is just not my thing.
Thanks for that. I had to go back to work today, and my son turns 4 months next week.
Sleep training has been a little rough since he seems to already have started his four-month-regression. I was beating myself up about why I was being so cruel to the baby. Being reminded that I am not scarring him for life helps.